sorry mom

What hurts the most, the fact that yr a ghost… Come home?

Sing songs for love, regret, for lost friends.
The time you never had and the time you never gave back.
Sing songs because you can.

I wish I could disappear, evaporate into thin air
Become a rain drop in your tangled wet hair
Consumed and reused and slightly abused..
I wish I was a tiny ray of gold
Beaming down from the clouds, blinding your now
Would you love me then?
Could we be more then just “friends”?
Don’t you just hate the way that taste?
Leaving these knots in your stomach…..

This is what “we’re” becoming

One millon speeding trains with my name written on their smiling faces, laughing at me, tempting me. JUMP…. 

Home sweet hole

Coming home for the first time in months is a weird feeling, inside and out. I haven’t seen my mom, step dad or little brothers in so long it feels like I’ve become a ghost of some sort, my room isn’t my room anymore the parents took it over, my bed isn’t my bed anymore my brother took that over, my belongings that I left here are all boxed up and shoved neatly in the corner of the basement, all my memories are dust traps now. As much as I love this place I hate this place, going from having my own hole to store all my junk in, pile all my filthy and clean laundry on top of each other in, my own personal theater for watching porn and old goosebumps vhs’s in. GONE. Sleeping on the couch when I come around is what “home” has been reduced to. Getting kicked out of my house is debatably the best or worst thing for me depending on who you ask… Myself, indifferent. I’m still stuck in the same set of motions regardless if anyone likes it or not, I’m sorry. I know this isn’t what mom wants but it is what it is, the life I’ve chosen to live. Growing up was never something I’ll be fond of…